Reflections from Reflections

 In “As Bill Sees It” on page 284, we are reminded that living one day at a time applies primarily to our emotional life: “Emotionally speaking, we must not live in yesterday, nor in tomorrow.” Spiritual masters in all times remind us of this simple fact—all I have is this moment.  When I slip into ruing the actions or non-actions of the past, I am out of this moment, dwelling in a never-land of regret and shame. When I future-trip, I am equally not present in the moment. Day-dreaming about where I’d like to be can be inspiring, if, after prayer and meditation, I have a goal in mind and I take the necessary actions to achieve it. If, however, I indulge in the kind of thinking which leads only to despair (When I win the Lotto, for instance), I’m not only not living in today, I am in a la-la land of pure fantasy. The drop back into reality hurts! If I choose to dwell in worry about what might  happen, I am not living my today. I choose to, as Baba Ram Dass said, “be here no...

 Bill wrote that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions…”. What an interesting concept this is! I wouldn’t necessarily match the one with the other, so it gives me something to meditate on. How does anonymity contribute to my spiritual link? Why is it considered a foundational component? I think it has everything to do with humbling myself - with the knowledge gained in Step 1, that I, by myself, am powerless over alcohol and everything else. If I accept that powerlessness is not failure, then I can concentrate on whatever is mine to do, and let the rest be. There exists, I believe, a Greater Love, an indefinable Something which guides me when I ask, which assures me that I am never facing challenges alone. I have come to my own understanding of my Higher Power through the principle of anonymity—being one of many, not one alone. One with guidance, never alone in the dark, recognizing my own lack of personal importance, but having a magnified importance when wo...

 Bill tells us, on page 125 of the 12x12 that “the joy of good living is the theme of A.A.’s Twelfth Step.” How can I experience joy if I am stuck in fear? Or if I keep mentally regurgitating the past? Or if I’m so self-absorbed that I’m unable or just unwilling to be of service to another alcoholic, or of anyone in need? If I’ve worked the previous eleven steps diligently and honestly, then wanting to be a helper in this world comes as a natural progression. Joy exists in the meeting of each new challenge with grace, and in the sharing of that grace by seeing others as we see ourselves—once broken, now whole.  I feel able to look challenges in the eye and know that the Light will always shine, that darkness is a temporary state, and that we all share a holy worthiness. I am capable of seeing myself in you, and offer myself as a mirror to your value, a holder of Light until you can see that you are a holder of Light as well. Joy is quiet serenity in all storms as well as all c...

 In the beginning of my time going to meetings, it was all about listening. I shared when called on, but I was operating on new information. New understanding can come from anyone, I believe, regardless of their time in recovery, so it can be enlightening to hear a newcomer’s fresh insights.  When anyone comes to a meeting, they have suited up and shown up. When asked to be of service, our aim is to do the same. I’ve had to remind myself sometimes that going to a meeting when I’d rather not is being willing to be of service. In those early days of mine, I wouldn’t have had any moments of insight without the more experienced members being there and sharing their experience, strength, and hope. Maybe they didn’t particularly need  a meeting, but I needed to see them and hear what they had to say. They suited up and showed up. It’s a simple enough idea. Be present. Be available. Be vulnerable. Be a beacon of hope, showing that working the program worked for me in finding sob...

 I can’t separate my alcoholism from the day-to-day living of my life. It isn’t feasible to try to compartmentalize my recovery from any other part of my life. When I utilize the principles of the program, especially as they show up in the spiritual link with my Creator, I am using them for all aspects of my life. What a concept! When I find myself indulging in behavior which is just self-serving, my awareness no longer allows me to operate in ignorance. Far from being an out for those aspects which don’t serve my highest good, I can see how operating in the darkness leads me further into darkness. No thanks! I have experienced the Sunlight of the Spirit, where I can be fully myself—the best version. I still stumble around, but when I realize I’ve gone rogue, I can utilize those aspect of the program which allow me to live in the Light, whether it’s getting out of my own way by being of service to someone, or talking to a fellow journeyer, or going within to refresh my connection w...

 I used to blown apart by difficulties. It wasn’t fair, or maybe it was, but c’mon! Why me? Was I a monster in a previous life? Getting real has been a ‘long, strange trip’; one which has reacquainted me with the sturdiness of Truth. When life pounds me, how do I react? Am I getting pounded because I’m a bad person? Am I somehow deficient in who I am? What am I doing wrong?  No, I’m not a bad person. No, I am not deficient in any way, nor am I doing anything wrong. I just may not be looking at my situation through the eyes of Serenity and Peace. I can always try harder, be or do better, but I am living a fully human life. Life in the physical plane is for learning and growing, falling and getting back up, trying again, and forgiving myself when I fail to meet a goal. I am loved by Love, I am sustained by Truth, and I am held in an Infinite Embrace. There is no ‘success’ or ‘failure’ in this process. There is only the expectation that I love others as I wish to be loved. That I...