No Ordinary Success Story

 The reading today is all about AA and how “it is a story of suffering transmuted, under grace, into spiritual progress”.

Who’da thunk? I entered the rooms in March of 2012, and am looking at celebrating my 10th sobriety birthday in April (it turned out that willingly tasting another’s wine was a no-no). I met all sorts of people, all of whom shared a common goal of sobriety and life after drinking. I heard stories which told me that I was not alone. I heard stories of triumph, hope, continuing trials, and the peace that saw them through each day without the need to either celebrate or drown anything out.

I saw humility in these folks (most of them!). Being human and dealing with that pushy ego is a daily challenge, one that others were willing to help me with. I entered the rooms as a singular failure; I stayed to continue to invite that grace which precedes spiritual progress into how I live my life, how I deal with others, and how to transmute that suffering I felt and that which I caused into spiritual progress. 

As to the suffering I’ve caused, I can only do what is in my understanding to do; to try to make amends. I can live in such a way as to not consciously cause pain. With others, I have no control, no say as to whether or not my efforts are recognized and received. I leave that to the grace of their own relationship with their higher selves and their higher power.

As for me, today I vow to cause no harm, to be thoughtful in my words and actions, to be my best self. I forgive myself when I stumble, and start over. I’ve learned that serenity doesn’t come from having these expectations; it comes from acceptance, willingness to learn, and getting up and trying again.

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