The Love in Their Eyes

 How many times have I heard “old-timers” saying gems like “Shut up and sit down”, “Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth”, or “You don’t have anything to say that I need to hear”? How often do I forget how it felt to find out that there was a solution to my feeling of desperation and hopelessness? I remember my “pink cloud” stage. I felt free, worthy, hopeful! I had new understanding, and I needed to vocalize it, to give it words, to share my insights. It was so uplifting! It gave me the desire to keep going - to build a strong foundation for the work ahead.

I’ve chaired meetings where those pithy old-timers all sat in the back row, occasionally chuckling at something not meant to be funny or quick to correct a misstatement. Cynicism isn’t helpful, friends.

Remember what it feels like to fall in love? There’s a giddiness, a joy, a feeling that whatever comes next is a step on a wonderful adventure. This version of a “pink cloud” provides both desire and determination to build a life together, and if both are equally committed to facing the challenges together, they have a pretty good chance of succeeding. 

The intense love and desire to protect a newborn is such an incredibly strong “pink cloud”, that it can see a parent through the hormone years without eating their young.

Change and growth are challenges. If not for those initial new-to-me insights and the accompanying feeling of freedom and joy, I might well have given up. I still cringe, though, at the thought of chairing a meeting. Vulnerability met with indifference or ridicule is damaging.

Be kind. Let the newly-sober person have their moment. Enjoy their joy. Hear their words - let them remind you of your own awakening, and maybe - maybe - learn something.

Empathy, yo.

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