Real Independence

 How on earth can ‘dependence upon a power greater than myself’ lead to independence? I’ve long railed at authority. Don’t tell me what to do or how to think! Don’t try to control me! I want to think for myself (if that’s alright with you). Independence, for me, became like Dr. Doolittle’s Pushmi-Pullyu; surface-level agreement on one side, inner defiance on the other. Where’s the serenity in that? My ‘independence’ was basically my lack of self-esteem.

I equated self-esteem with egotism - the cockiness that eclipsed the humility to learn, to have an open mind. I always thought that self-love was a barrier to being ‘spiritual’. What I since found is a self-love based on acceptance of myself as both a human being having a spiritual experience, and as a spiritual being having a human experience.

 Yin/Yang ☯️

I accept responsibility for myself. There’s freedom in that. I no longer live in the blaming of others. There’s independence in that. I catch myself when I start to forget, when I try to return to the default settings I used to live under. I don’t depend on excuses or substances to justify any imagined victimhood.

By choosing to depend on my link to Spirit, by asking, listening, partnering with the Divine to the best of my ability, I find I have real independence to live, fully present.

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