Crying for the Moon

 Constant craving has always been.  kd lang

As soon as I win the Lotto or strike it rich in some other magical way, my life will finally be great! Until then, I’ll wallow in the ‘wants’.

I can go there when I don’t practice gratitude and mindfulness. “If only” used to be my mantra. Crying for the moon is wanting the extremely unlikely, if not impossible outcome. Having a vision of what is possible though, and taking action toward achieving that goal? Now that’s within the realm of reality.

I lost sight of that in my presobriety years.  That was a time of stunted growth topped with magical thinking. I needed a good dose of reality in order to make changes in my life. My ego was like the hormones of a teenager, always at the extremes. I was the ‘egomaniac with an inferiority complex’.

“If only” has become “this - or something better”. I have true gratitude for what I have. That doesn’t stop the ‘wants’, but it allows me to look at them more clearly and ask myself what I can do if I’d like to see changes, and if those changes are for my highest good.

In the stillness of this moment, all is well.

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