Entering a New Dimension

 In my before times, I lived in a mud puddle of  “I can’t”, while telling myself it’s name was “not yet”.  I couldn’t control my drinking without angst and failure, while believing that the timing was just off. I wasn’t ready for radical, life-changing decisions. It finally became apparent to me that I would never make that choice of myself - I was going to need help from a power greater than my will. I knew I had reached my bottom, and something had to change.

At the beginning, my higher power was the concept of A.A., even while I believed in Spirit. This Power showed up in the example of those who were living lives free of intoxicants - people who were facing their challenges and finding celebration in living their lives truthfully, honestly, openly, and soberly.

I realized quickly that mine wasn’t a ‘special case’ - I would have to do what others had done and were doing in order to have the freedom I wanted. I found a sponsor and did what she suggested. I attended meetings every day, since that’s how often I drank. I bought the literature, and started reading, studying, and relating to it. I worked the steps. I took service positions.

I started seeing life with a new perspective. All my outside studying about spirituality worked in tandem with what I was learning and experiencing in the rooms of A.A. I found that I had, indeed, been             “…rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence…”, and was understanding myself in a deeper, truer way. From this point of view, my problems were just temporary challenges, even as I was struggling with them. With the help of my Higher Power, I see more broadly, and I know what serenity is.