“Happy, Joyous, and Free”

 I can be a very adept blamer. My unhappiness/“problem drinking”/lack, is because of you/ him/them. How could I be happy, joyous, or free when others had such power over me? When I didn’t feel worthy, when I felt I was drowning in self-loathing, it was impossible to feel any kind of positive emotion. I was a fraud, a fool, an innocent pawn - anything other than personally accountable. How could I be? Who would willingly accept the tragedies of alcoholism and it’s destruction?

My Higher Power is the Great Architect, the Power Grid, the Essence of Love which allows me to experience, learn, and ask for help. It is the assurance that all is well, no matter what. It strengthens me to see where I have choice and accountability. It “restores my soul”.

Walking in partnership with that Power, I am free to leave the past in the past, and to enjoy - fully - this day, this moment. I forget sometimes, and find myself in the self-blame mode of misery. Have I acknowledged my part? Have I made whatever amends I could? If I have, I have been set free, redeemed, emptied of the dross, allowing the purity of my essence to shine, happily, joyfully, freely.

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