The Past is Over

 Bill W. calls them “tormenting ghosts”. They’re the ghouls of past actions, and they hide in the dark, waiting to emerge when least expected. “Remember me?” they hatefully hiss. My practice of denial and obfuscation keep them strong and present, monsters always under my bed.

Step 4 shines a light under that bed, allowing me to see them for what they are, while Step 5 gives me the courage to acknowledge that I put them there. I did that. I don’t need to do the same ever again, if I stay aware of how they grew into existence in the first place.

They are defanged in the process of sharing. They are of the past, not the present, and can no longer guide my actions or affect my self-esteem, unless I let them. I can better deal with them through the understanding and openness of looking at them with my sponsor. I ask the Light to always shine on my path, so that I don’t produce new ghosts. I am reminded of and humbled by the fact that I put them there - that I am capable of producing such things if I don’t stay aware and open to Truth. “Denial”, as they say, “isn’t just a river in Egypt”.

I have Today. I celebrate Today. All that’s in the past has shaped me, but doesn’t define me. I continue to learn to forgive myself and move on.

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