Turning Negative to Positive

 Ego says “I’ve got this; humility says “Please help”.

Based on my history, I can pretty positively assert that negativity used to rule me. I’d goof up, then, if I couldn’t find someone to blame, it would provide proof to me that I was defective. A defective person couldn’t aspire to any kind of success, therefore I was justified in mucking around in the sludge. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

What if I utilized my missteps, instead, as a learning tool? That would require personal accountability, a pulling-up of my ‘big girl panties’. Ego would never allow that. It told me two diametrically opposed lies: either the goof-up belonged to someone else, leaving me blameless, or I was the biggest jerk ever, unredeemable and doomed. Ego is fickle like that. I was the very best or the very worst, depending on the day and situation.

Humility says to me, “Get up and try again. You’re human. Forgive yourself and move on”. My relationship with my Higher Power assures me that reaching out for help is the kindest thing I can do for myself. I’m not ruined, I’m not an abomination - I am growing and learning from my mistakes, if that is my mindset. I'm neither better than nor worse than. I’m a work-in-progress. 

I mess up. I get a lot of things wrong. But - I ask for help, I strive to look at myself with honesty, and I try again, growing a little more with each lesson.

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