Conforming to the A.A. Way

 The idea of conforming rubs up against my ego and says “You’re not unique”. Ego is loud, proud, and oblivious to the needs and wants of others. Humility says “make room for them - each has value”.

Humility and Ego do a strange dance; Ego wants the spectators of the cleared dance floor to oohh and aahh and be amazed, while Humility whispers “come close, slow down, and follow gently”. Ego looks for fuel to burn, while humility enjoys the serenity of the moment, needing nothing more than what is. 

When my battered and bruised ego said “I can’t do this on my own”, humility was there to assure me that I wasn’t alone, there was help available to me, and that holding onto that realization was key to recovery. So many others who had personal knowledge and experience were there to encourage me and show me what life had been like for them, what they did about it, and how that change in attitudes and actions had manifested to create a peace within. 

Peace within! Wasn’t that what I had been trying to find? I had been yelling, when I needed to simply listen. I had been crying and complaining while clinging to hopelessness as if that’s all I had. I was a dead battery with two negative poles, wondering why nothing I did seemed to work.

‘Conforming’ became a concept of kindness to myself, instead of the idea being one of contempt. It wasn’t ‘uniformity’ - it was the path to the discovery of a peace within, a line of communication between my Higher Power and myself. 

It was life’s dance steps, first this foot here then that foot there, complete with other students and teachers.