Letting Go of Our Old Selves

Apparently, I like to play tug-of-war with God. 

The Spirit of All Possibility asks me if I want to be in alignment with my highest good, or if I’d like to continue to learn from my mistakes. I say I want the former, but what are my actions? Recognize, ask for release, then take them back because my shortcomings are familiar. They may not work well, but they’re mine, and I know them.

How then do I ask my Creator to take them from me? How do I become willing? Step 6 asks me to “be ready to have God remove all these defects of character”. Why do I keep pulling them back, having once done Step 7, humbly asking God to remove my shortcomings?

I’m finding the truth that the thorough working of prior steps is the preparation for both becoming willing, then asking for their removal. The recognition of my character defects is an on-going process. I discover many when I look at my motivations in Step 4. I hear them when I admit my part to another in Step 5. I find the names for them with self-reflection at the end of the day. Patterns are exposed, and default settings have been activated without my awareness.

Perhaps, then, Step 6 is an invitation to becoming aware. Perfection isn’t part of the deal in being human, but willingness to be changed is. Humility allows me to see more clearly those times when I react, rather than act purposefully. It usually happens in retrospect, but with each glimpse, I have the opportunity, the invitation, to ask God to release me from the game I go back to. 

I have the choice to tug, or to let go, and my Higher Power allows me that option, always. The asking and the willingness to drop the rope of familiarity must come from me.

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