Living Our Amends

 There exist so many ideas on how to live a good and worthy life: the 12 Steps, the Golden Rule (pick a form), the Four Agreements, and so on. If I were able to follow any of them thoroughly, the concept of “living amends” would be moot. I remain, however, a human with all the bugs in the system that show up in all of us. 

I think that awareness is key. My most crass mistakes were made when I exercised no empathy for others, because I was too wrapped up in myself to notice them or to care. I still need to focus on myself, on what I say and do and how I can be a more decent person, but not at the expense of other people. I can be true to my needs and values, and still recognize that my actions or inactions have consequences. I can try mightily to live according to what I feel is right for myself, and still mess up and miss the mark. 

When that happens, I want to clean up that hurt as quickly as possible. It’s like cleansing a wound right away and applying a bandage if needed to prevent infection. ‘Living Amends’ is my metaphorical first aid kit, one that I want to keep handy. I don’t plan for messes, scrapes, and cuts, but I’m ready to apply healing agents to whatever pain I may cause, as soon as I become aware of it.

Life is gonna happen - I don’t hide away in the misguided hope that I won’t make a mess. Part of living a full life is to take chances and to speak our minds. My actions won’t please everyone. I have opinions which I express. I can’t usually know what another person is going through at any given time, and how those words or actions might trigger them. I can, however, turn the empathy knob up to 11, and utilize that as my background music.