“A Measure of Humility”

 Bill wrote about pain being the cost of admission into a new life - in every case. But the surprise gift was the “measure of humility” which allows healing to take place (12x12, pg. 75). How true! Without that humility I felt when admitting powerlessness over alcohol, the stage would not have been set for healing to occur. 

Just a small measure of humility can crack open the door of awareness, allowing the refreshing breeze of healing to blow in and wash over me. It’s then my job to make sure the door doesn’t slam shut and engage the lock. It can be tempting to let that happen, especially when the breeze threatens to expose me. I spent years carefully crafting my image; humility is the balm that soothes the exposed self.

Humility invites me to give up the need to feel special by being separate from, and allows me to see the specialness of each person, no matter where they are on their journey. The measure of humility that I experience is in direct proportion to the peace I seek.

What do we want? Serenity! When do we want it? Right freakin’ now!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Brothers in Our Defects

 In 12-step groups, the dropping of masks is not just invited and encouraged - it is expected, if there is to be any personal growth. Step 4 shows us how to look at our shortcomings with complete honesty. The ability to be totally honest with oneself is a skill which requires practice; this step outlines just how to start. I have to ask myself about the resentments which still burn, even just a tiny bit. Toss a little fuel on those embers, and they will burst back into flames.  Whom have my actions harmed in the past? What, specifically, did I do? How might I have handled it differently? What was I trying to control? Did I feel like my cover was being blown, like the carefully constructed mask I presented was being forcefully removed? What did I fear, and how did that negatively affect others? Why did I act in a way that would now shame me? What reasoning did I use to make the unacceptable acceptable? We share as honestly as we are able with others, in and out of meetings, to ...
Read more

Group Autonomy

If I am to “practice these principles in all my affairs” (from the 12th Step), I need to know just what these principles are. The 12 x 12 (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions) expounds on them in detail, relating how they relate to group health. But what about the way I live my life? How do I live these principles outside of the safety of the rooms? I have to actually think about and meditate on what they mean to me personally. In the case of Tradition Four, Group Autonomy, I reflect on how I am an autonomous being. I rely on family and friends for their love and emotional support, to whatever degree they are able to give, but I alone am responsible for my thoughts and actions. Do I engage in activities which could harm another, emotionally or physically? Cut that out! Otherwise, I’m free to pursue those activities which interest me, contribute to my personal growth, and keep me standing in the Sunlight. It is my responsibility to both know and challenge my limitations and my shortcomin...
Read more

I Choose Anonymity

 I can be a real braggart. I suspect this is tied to low-self-esteem issues, and is the egos’s way of asserting itself. I must have recognized this at some point in my journey, because, written on the bottom of the page of this Daily Reflection is “STFU, Sandy”.  Inner peace and ease of being is quiet. It invites, it has an allure; it, like the Dude in The Big Lebowski, abides.  Our eleventh tradition tells us that our public principle is “attraction rather than promotion”. For me, this applies to my own public life. When it’s appropriate, like when someone asks about myself or shares a personal concern which would best be addressed by a 12-step fellowship, I’m happy to share how my life has been and continues to be changed.  Newcomers to AA can be so overwhelmed by their new freedom, they loudly proclaim their sobriety. I know I did. Jaded friends and family, used to seeing broken promises and dreadful decisions, don’t hear the words; they’re waiting to see the “pro...
Read more