I Ask God to Decide

 If I’m not open to solutions, I’ll do the same old things. I’ll react mindlessly, repeating old patterns which never worked, but were all I knew. If I’m unwilling to have my Higher Power remove my ‘defects of character’, I won’t develop as a person, and I’ll have a higher  probability of drinking again. How’d that work for me in the past? We all know.

Do I have my list ready to present to my Creator, and have expectations of how they’ll be removed? Or is it more likely that as I ask, I will be given situations which allow me to see how I’ve responded in the past, and now have the awareness to choose differently? 

I fall into what I see as a trap of magical thinking. “And God said ‘Poof’, and all was changed”. I want instant gratification, that sudden knowing, the moments of insight which all arrive at once. Maybe that’s how it works for some people - I don’t know. My growth, my changes in how I respond, have been gradual. Those changes have been in direct proportion to how readily I am open to different possibilities.

My responsibility is to recognize the truth of ‘Nature abhors a vacuum’, and have an alternative ready for the void created when a previous response is now now neither desired nor reactive. With awareness comes the personal responsibility to practice newer, healthier ways to respond when the vicissitudes of life visit me. That’s when I find that the old has been removed, all ready for me to fill with the new. 

I don’t consciously choose which shortcoming will be removed, or how quickly, or in what order. I consciously choose to be ready, as my Creator presents new opportunities to be different, to be better.

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