A Clean Sweep
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day: begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. Ralph Waldo Emerson
The desire to have a redo, the wish to go back and do it all again but do it better this time, has to be the ultimate form of self-punishment.
I can no longer engage in that kind of fantasy postulating. What I have for sure is this moment, today. Since the past has happened and there’s no changing it, what I can do is look at my actions honestly, and do my best to clean up the messes. I can see how my actions have possibly harmed others, and do whatever I can to stop behaving in such destructive ways. I can use my experiences and their aftermaths to teach myself to do better, to be a better person. I have accepted the challenge to be willing to make amends where possible. Then, as Emerson wrote to his daughter, I can “be done with it”.
Feeling regret for past decisions has to be turned around into positive action today. If I have the gift of a tomorrow, I don’t want to look at today and sigh “if only I’d done it differently”.
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