Listening Deeply

 In the rooms of recovery, we share a single purpose: to deal directly with our addiction and how to transcend it by putting it in it’s proper perspective, and to share that freedom with those who still suffer.

I recently found myself in one of those dungeons of self-pity. I called it by different names, but it boiled down to my failure to see myself as a whole, worthy, loved child of my Creator. I willingly walked into my ‘cave of comparison’ and found myself wanting, in both senses of the word. Denial became my means to handle the feelings that came up: I’m just tired; I’ve dealt with this, so I’m not feeling what I feeling; I just lack perspective at the moment…

Because I had promised to meet a friend at a meeting, I reluctantly went, rather than stay home and stew, which is all I felt like doing. There was a speaker, sharing her experience, strength, and hope, even though she admitted that she had wanted to cancel. Sometimes, we just want to stay in that no-hope zone. But, she came and shared. She showed everyone there her vulnerability and lack of trust in her own Higher Power. I get it - I can’t feel the Sunlight of the Spirit when I raise my ‘umbrella of doom’ against any rays of Hope.

I resolved to listen deeply. As I did, I remembered the quote “God protects us from nothing, but sustains us in everything”. I heard the speaker, and as I did, I heard the Spirit of Love speaking to me. 

We lift each other up when life gives us unexpected challenges, big and small. When I listen deeply, when I’m open to hearing, I will hear what I need to hear. When I share, I am offering the same gift. May the Spirit of Life be heard! Either through the words of others, or in my own quiet time of meditative listening, those messages of hope ring through.

And yes, I shared that insight with the speaker, who seemed to take it to heart.