First Things First

 No guru, no method, no teacher  Just you and I and nature  And the Father in the garden    Van Morrison

Call It what you like - God, Father, Mother, Spirit, Power - that spiritual connection is the most important factor in achieving and maintaining the gift of sobriety.

I tuned in, early on, when a fellow traveler defined humility as being ‘right-sized’. I’ve heard that term many times since then, and it always strikes me as a term I can both accept and understand. Feeling humiliated many times in the past, I made the incorrect connection to humility as a willingness to be humiliated again and again. No way was I going to ascribe to that, until I understood the difference.

Now I get it, and keep being reminded. I’m not in charge! What a relief! When I was ‘in charge’ of my life, I made ridiculous decisions. I made painful choices which hurt not only myself, but those I loved. I elevated alcohol to the top priority, at the expense of all else. I would have said at the time that of course God had top billing, but a personal relationship was not part of that. I would be ‘captain of my destiny’, even as my ship hit the rocks and I proudly floated on debris.

Well. I’ve found myself ‘right-sized’ a few times, and rather than a humiliation, each was a reminder to relax into what is, and seek the guidance of The One. That’s what keeps me sober.