A.A.’s “Main Taproot”

 In our 12x12, Bill writes that the main taproot of our program is the admission of “complete defeat”. That’s one that so many of us, me included, fight against until we simply have no other choice. 

From what I understand, the taproot is the first to find and provide nourishment to the growing plant. It might remain, with other roots developing off of it, or it might disappear altogether with the formation of a branch system. Either way, those roots provide the strength and nutrients from which to grow and flourish.  They hold the newly-developing plant firmly while it grows ever larger. 

So - it seems that Bill is saying that without that admission of “complete defeat”, I will not experience the growth I need to be a successful flowering or fruiting being. My Master Gardener needs me to agree to certain parameters in order to help me grow. 

There are many “seeds” in the world. Some spring to life beautifully in an elegant synergy with their surroundings. Some are invasive weeds. Some *ahem* need a lot of cultivated soil and patience while coming to terms with being a seed, rather than a full-grown plant or tree. When the acorn says “I don’t want to be an oak - I want to be a rose”, it will live its life in frustration. When the tiny seed can’t see that it’s growth is yet to come, it believes itself to have no potential and resists landing in soil. 

So. I indulged in the behavior that had the seed of my potential sitting on concrete, wondering why I couldn’t seem to admit that I needed some good dirt. I was too smart, too entrenched, too special, and completely unable to move to a growth medium on my own power. The admission of complete defeat was akin to a gentle breeze lifting me off the place where growth was impossible, and depositing me onto where I could take root and develop into what I’m meant to be.