Serenity After the Storm

 Kindness, gratitude, love - all the positive emotions I wish to feel must be embodied. They take root in the depths, and emerge after being patiently tended. They show up from the inside out, not just on the surface.

This is what struck me today as I went out into the world resolved to show kindness rather than the impatience I wrote about yesterday. I realized that the kindness I wish to show others MUST be unconditional, and that I had started to see it as a transactional thing. I wish to be surprised by kindness, not making expectations of receiving any. My aim is to feel that kindness toward others, knowing that I can’t possibly know what is happening in their worlds. When it is honestly felt, it will manifest in my actions, and probably on my face. I told my sponsor about my negative experience with myself, and remarked that I knew I looked like I’d just sucked a lemon. Who on earth is going to feel inclined to go out of their way for such a sourpuss?!

I feel calm today, knowing - remembering - that my serenity, my sobriety, and my personal growth is an INSIDE job. I am experiencing calm after the storm of my own making, and I am deeply grateful for the reminder.


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