“The Acid Test”

 In our 12x12, Bill asks us if, after having worked and integrated the first 9 steps, we can “stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under all conditions”. The purpose of Step 10 is to ask myself that question daily.

Yesterday, I experienced a ‘do not pass Go, do not collect $200’ kind of day. I failed, big time. I had an expectation of another person, and instead of asking for what I wanted, I got angry when she ignored me. I was publicly Not Happy. I let that anger show on my face, and the more angry I felt, the harsher my inner dialog was. That found expression as I drove home, venting my displeasure vocally. Yeah, I yelled and screamed. It was not pretty.

There I was, a “spiritual person”, having a lower vibration moment. I let a very temporary annoyance darken my mood, and in that darkness, I included others. We are all connected. My giant step backwards was a result of losing sight of that. 

Yesterday, even though I stayed sober, I failed the “acid test”. If I don’t recognize that and make adjustments immediately, my back-tracking could very well take me back to the false comfort of alcohol. No thank you! 

Today, I will do better. I will remember how easily I slipped, and have expectations only of myself. Today, I will utilize Step 10 to see my part and take immediate action to stop self-destructive thinking which could result in injurious or offensive behavior towards others. Today, I will pass each test, with God’s help.


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