Focusing and Listening

 When I place myself in the presence of Love, there is no self-flagellation. I can see actions I’ve taken in the context of learning from them, wrapped in a blanket of self-forgiveness and acceptance. 

I never wanted to spend time doing any self-searching, because I confused that concept with ‘self-seeking’ - selfishness and self-justification. The attempt always left me with what I called my “Cavalcade of Failures”. I didn’t have the kind of relationship with my Creator which would allow for honest focus and earnest listening. All I felt was a sense of shame and lack. I had to gradually learn to listen to Love.

Don’t get me wrong - it’s an ongoing process, but so much has shifted for me as I’ve learned to let go of my old ways of thinking and coping. I’m more willing to hear. I’m more open to my communication with the Spirit of Life being a two-way experience. I’m less apt to treat my Higher Power as my fairy godmother, expecting, hoping, for her to give me all the things, or as Santa, keeping track of whether I’ve been good or bad - and giving me all the things.

On page 98 of our 12x12, Bill notes that when self-examination, meditation, and prayer are “logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakeable foundation for life”. I love that imagery! “Interwoven”, like a beautiful, intricate tapestry - and I am weaving alongside the Great Artist on life’s loom.