The Rewards of Giving

 I think society teaches us to be transactional, to ask ‘what’s in it for me?’. It’s all about quid pro quo: something for something.

In my recovery work, I find again and again that to give wholeheartedly, without expectation (and whenever possible, without acknowledgement), is to grow spiritually. Whenever I cry out “Look what I  did!”, the act of kindness becomes all about me. That’s a very good way to negate the kindness and plant seeds of resentment, both in myself and others. When I manage to show kindness for the sake of kindness, there are no expectations. When in the classroom of driving, I’ll let other drivers go ahead of me rather than speeding up to “let” them go behind me. When I’m not doing it out of kindness, I get bothered by the expectation of receiving a wave of thanks when it doesn’t come.

Releasing my expectations (which is a practice) frees me to express kindness for it’s own sake. 

Our 12th Step is key to learning how to do this. We are asked to be of service and to “practice these principles in all our affairs”. My focus can be on fellow alcoholics, but the path is there for everyone.

It turns out that there is something in it for me: peace of mind, knowing that I am being my best self when I serve others.

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