The False Comfort of Self-Pity

 It is a maudlin form of martyrdom…  Bill Wilson

Self-pity makes me think of a yawn - suck in all the air possible, then need more and more. It’s a dam in the flow of my life. Self-pity is the blue ribbon of the ego in Best of Yo. It is the sour fruit of the Why Me Tree.

Self-pity is seductive. It makes me the star of my own tragic drama. Is that who I came here to be? Absolutely not! To let the martyrdom of self-pity be my main mode of living life is to cut myself off from earned knowledge, personal growth, and true service to others. It is to lose out on the Sunlight of the Spirit.

I know this deeply. I find that I wade into the pool of self-pity from time to time, and I know enough to walk back out. I use to keep going until I had to tread its water, fearful because I couldn’t swim, cursing at whatever ‘made’ me go there, unwilling to put my feet down, touch bottom, and walk out. I wanted to have my pain and discomfort recognized and fixed, unwilling to see that being there was ultimately my choice. I wanted Daddy God to fix it and make it all go away.

There is plenty of unfairness in life. Do I face my challenges, or do I jump? I can hide in self-pity, but the challenges aren’t magically erased - at some point, I have to face them if I am to find the peace within.

What is mine to change? What is my choice today?

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