A Spiritual Axiom

 Today’s reflection starts with a statement by Bill W. in the 12x12 which states that “It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us”. 

My first reaction is to deny that, but then we are given an example which simply illustrates that it is our reaction to each situation which causes that disturbance. Life happens. Bad things happen to good people. We know this - we see it every day on the news, and we feel it in our own lives. “I didn’t deserve that!” we say to ourselves. Unfairness exists. Sadness visits everyone. Am I supposed to just skip along through life, singing a merry tune, ignoring the darkness?

Hardly. Sometimes I am the cause of another person’s discomfort. When it happens, Step 10 asks me to look squarely at myself and take responsibility. When another person or situation causes me any kind of pain, can I expect them to do the same? No, I can’t. So how do I find equilibrium in an unfair world? How do I keep from becoming a victim of that inequity?

I don’t feel qualified to answer for anyone but myself.  Some people have endured hardships beyond their capacity to emotionally rise above them. Not everyone has the ability to find their strength under the enormous loads they find themselves trying to carry. That’s not my story. What I can do is to go within, ask myself and my Higher Power what my next step is to be, and to find that center of calm which withstands the storms. I can remind myself that every situation is temporary, and that I am here to learn. 

From that perspective, when the little things bug me, I can ask myself what my expectations were. Did I do or say something which triggered another person’s pain? Does this situation have anything to do with me? Would finding my own peace interfere with that of another? Does being true to myself mean I no longer care about anyone but myself?

Sobriety is helping me find balance - when to speak up and when to shut up, when to act and when taking action would cause harm, when a problem is mine to solve or a lesson for someone else. 

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